It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
