I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize