He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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