I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
