So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
