I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
