Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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