i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
