Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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