You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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