Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize