in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
