Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
