Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize