I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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