I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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