mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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