Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My vagina is very pro this idea
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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