The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
