My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
