Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
