The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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