I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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