Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
