Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
