So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
