If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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