Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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