proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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