At least make sure they are 18
Why
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
