Whatcha textin bout Willis?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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