i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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