the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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