hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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