you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize