oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
They have beer where we have blood.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
