You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
