i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
