Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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