Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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