Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
