i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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