I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
a search helicopter?!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
