its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
