I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
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I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
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Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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