I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
