i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
