She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
