Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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