where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
