@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You pole danced in your parka.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
