as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is her dick bigger than yours?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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