omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Do vagina's smell?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
