I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Even my vagina gasped.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
