I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize