it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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