I wish I could teleport
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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