do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
