Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
ok first of all what the fuck
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
