hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
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she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
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The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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