I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So many bounce houses so little time
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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