if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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