We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Fuck appropriateness.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
