Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize