Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
