She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
there is glitter all over my balls
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
