i think my mom watched the whole time
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize