PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
