I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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